Star Wars Behind The Scenes

- INTERIOR, BRIEFING ROOM, CLOUD CITY, BESPIN -

( Darth Vader, Boba Fett and several Stormtroopers sit around a white table in a very white room )

Boba Fett: So, are we just gonna sit here?

Darth Vader: What do you mean?

Boba Fett: I mean when they come in. Is it just going to be, like, "Hey, we're here."

Stormtrooper #1: (throws up hands) Surprise!

Darth Vader: (laughs) Surprise! Your friend betrayed you!

Boba Fett: (laughs) No, but seriously. We have to do something, or it'll just be awkward.

Darth Vader: How about we all jump out when they walk in?

Boba Fett: That's a terrible idea. We should all be standing up at the head of the table, so they see the full accompanyment of Stormtroopers behind us. You can say something like, "Guess who's coming to dinner."

Darth Vader: That's stupid; I would never say that. They would either be very confused, or they'd laugh and think it was all a joke.

Boba Fett: Then I could just shoot one of them.

Darth Vader: No, I already told you: No disintegrations.

Boba Fett: I didn't think that still applied.

Darth Vader: What would make you think it didn't-? Nevermind. Forget it, let's just... let's just do this.

Boba Fett: So, we're going to be standing?

Darth Vader: Yes. (stands up and walks behind his chair at the head of the table) I'll just stand here. You all should wait outside, so they can't just leave.

( All of the Stormtroopers nod and voice their agreement )

Darth Vader: And I'll... (taps fingers on the back of the chair) I'll say...

Boba Fett: I think I should come in from the back hall, there.

Darth Vader: (looks back) What? From the bathroom?

Boba Fett: Yeah, but, just to come out of hiding like that, you know? Like, "I'm here, too."

Darth Vader: Yeah, like, "I was just taking a dump, when did these guys get here?"

Stormtroopers: (all laugh)

Darth Vader: You should be buttoning up your pants when you come out.

Boba Fett: No, I'll be holding my rifle, and I'll... (runs back to the bathroom) I'll come out like this. (walks out from the hall, and stands next to Vader) And stand here.

Darth Vader: When? Just, whenever?

Boba Fett: After you say whatever you're going to say.

Darth Vader: We would be honored if you would join us.

Boba Fett: That's good stuff. I like it.

Darth Vader: Thank you, bounty hunter.

Stormtrooper #2: Sir, report is coming in: they're on their way.

Darth Vader: Good, get into position.

( All of the Stormtroopers rush out of the main door )

Boba Fett: (walks back to the bathroom) Be careful about Solo. He always shoots first.

Darth Vader: Leave that to me.

( the door opens )

- THE END -